Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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