sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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