I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
