So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
