Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
