True but thats because hes a fetus.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
