oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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