dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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