Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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