hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
