Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
