I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
