Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
