Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
