Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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