U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize