So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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