in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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