oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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