Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
