I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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