ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
