Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
