If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
