So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
