I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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