so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
