i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
