i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize