do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
