And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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