She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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