Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
