Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
