90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
