put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
