The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
