I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
