CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
