yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
