glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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