I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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