trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
