i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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