We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
