Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
