are you still at the devil's house?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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