sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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