JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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