Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
