i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
