I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
