hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
