Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
