He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
