yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
