It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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