I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
