we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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