after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Every concussion has its silver lining
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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